it sucks to be pissed but can't do anything about it.
i really hate it when i get mad because i will start stuttering and i can't
think of words to say! and it sucks because sometimes i want to
get a point across and i can't due to my tongue tie.

i am so mad at my bro because he's being stupid.
and my sister in law takes stuff without asking permission.
don't touch my stuff!
get your own food!
replace all the food you took!
at least if she asked,
i wouldn't bother.
just because you're my brother's wife don't freakin mean we're close
and you can do whatever.
you don't freakin take my expensive chocolates and fave maggi mee
that my dad gave it to us. You don't freakin know how
hard he worked for that. You can't just take it to satisfy your
own hunger. you freakin buy your own things.
and wash your own underwear.
Oh my god i am seriously fuming.
how can a person be SO idle?!
how can a girl ask her mother in law to wash her underwear.
all she does at my house is watch tv/ play laptop.
and you freakin freeload on my things?!
you freakin pay for nothin!
i wished she will get the heck out of my house and
go to her own mother's house to stay.
freakin pissing me off..
GET A LIFE LOSER WITH A BIG L ON YOUR FOREHEAD?!

Hi guys!
I'm not Rebekah!
I'm Fish!
Don't tell her I hacked into her Blogger.
I just want to show you a few awesome pictures I took
when I camwhored with her camera!!!!

I told you, Cats are so much more cuter than you humans.. PLEASE!
Ain't I sexy??!! Check out my hairy, oh sorry, i mean furry chest!
I know, i know, i'm too handsome eh heh heh *coughs coughs*.. ^^
I was trying out the *shocked* look! Superb i know. Maybe i can go be a star!
My crazy owner and her equally crazy best friend.
OMG they sure look like freaks here... must have been taken during halloween..

REMEMBER!
YOU DIDN'T SEE THIS POST!
luv, yours forever, xoxoxoxo, sincerely, faithfully, handsomely,
Fish.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"my memory is cruel,
queen of attention to details"

don't quite know what to say here..
just had a great sleepover at sonia's house
10 girls cramped in one room,
but we had a lot of fun!!! waiting for nichola to upload the photos..
we ordered mac and had fries and ice cream in the middle of the night :D
and talked till 3 am..
didn't have such a deep talk with so many people for so long!
we shared about our own struggles, and how we can help each other
and the younger peeps in the teens ministry..
and we prayed together and laughed like crazy!
we seriously can talk about EVERYTHING..
someone even farted in the middle of someone's prayer.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH omg that was epic. we couldn't talk o breathe for the
next 5 minutes.. SO FUNNY!

going to miss maddie..
she went off to egypt with her family.. :/

suddenly miss my secondary school friends... :(
suddenly remember the times in class where i got caught
dunno how many times texting in class by habibbudah who was my enemy.
everytime kena caught even if i tried to keep a lookout.
haha! still remember the super sian and bitter feeling of my phone
being taken away from me..
hyperventilating when i didn't do my hw and the teacher
walks around to inspect..
L-O-L!!!

when i have children,
i will tell them to enjoy their schooling years
because those are like the best memories you can carry
to your grave and share with their children also.

:)

i've been thinking alot these past few days
and i think i will not go back on what i have decided.
because i want to do what i love,
and not what is the right or supposed path i'm so
called supposed to take.

and, i saw his photo today on facebook.
i thought i wouldn't be affected,
but i was! darn it.
it's weird because i know i am over it,
so i don't get why i still feel emotional.
maybe because he hurt me a lot. pfft.
whatever. i'll work on it until the point where i can
walk past him on the street and totally don't feel a single thing.
wasted 2 frigging years of my life.
it will never happen again.

And guess what.
i saw my brother smoking.
WHAT THE FISH. SERIOUSLY.
he said he wanted to use the toilet so i went home first.
but i was distracted by a really cute cat below my house
so i stuck around for awhile and i saw him at the stairs.
although he hid it in time, and i pretended to not know anything
and just walked back home.
how was i supposed to react?
my eyes watered and my throat tightened the minute i knew what
was happening. i just went into my room and stoned.
i feel really upset because i really respect my brother.
even if he left church i still respect him
but now this? how am i supposed to face him without feeling judgemental?
i hate smokers. i hate them because they don't show respect for their
own body.
but i can't hate my brother.
i love him to death.
but i just wished he realises what a materialistic idiot he has become.
not saying this because of the smoking but other stuff also.

feel really exhausted emotionally.
i can't even take care of myself how
can i possibly allow myself to take care
of people who are more than friends and family?
i think i'll end up burdening people with my
roller coaster life. just when i feel happy some strange thing
will bring me back to square one again..
and the people i love become all weird (except mummy)
maybe this is the reason i'm like so scared.
i make effort to make sure i won't end up being the victim.
really disliked being cast away or left alone.
i really hate that feeling...
okay i shall stop here and snap out of this
"my life is so freaking pitiful" mode.
life is unfair i get it.
and i don't regret having gone thru all this stuff,
despite how shitty they are.
i know God gave me these stuff because he knows i can take it.
if it were other people maybe they would've jump ship
or turn into rebellious smoke-drunkards who treat their home
like hotels.

pfft. must be boring you with all these wussy shit.
if you can't take it don't read it.
wait. you already have. too bad then.
:D
suddenly i am super into jay chou, westlife, and mushy love songs.

where are you soulmate?
the person who can take all my nonsense.
and eat icecream and couch potato chips and watch
sobby movies like the notebook, titanic, p.s i love you with me
without complaining, accompany me to sit the viking even though
he hates it, sing along to sappy songs and not feel ashamed,
the funny oddball who doesn't really fit in.
maybe he's not born yet!
lol. boyfriend who is 17 years younger.
creepy.
guess that person will be hard to find.
one in a trillion maybe.
maybe he already died.
maybe my soul mate was supposed to be michael jackson!
but no. too much plastic surgery...
or maybe there is no such person.
justrandominghaha.

BYE!

sorry for the long long hiatus,
just arrived back from malaysia..
super exhausted.
update pictures and what's been going on soon!

currently listening to boyz ll men..
they are awesome!

anyways headed to ikea with shushan and branson
to have dinner.. wow we really attacked the food today..
it was awesome!! chicken wings and meatball!
we walked around after that
and had fun jumping on the bed and imagining the
showrooms are really ours HAHA..
seriously can fall asleep on their beds..
so soft!!!
another food trail with cuz at bishan j8 tmr,
and might watch 2012..

have a lot in my mind today.
hai.
shall sort them out in my dreams.

moooooolahhhhh
heeeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheehee
i feel so bored...
should i go jogging????
and bring my cat along?
but i scared he run away..
his neck is too small for a collar.
it's be fun watching people stare at this girl
who brings her cat out for a jog instead of a dog.
WHY CANNOT BRING CATS OUT LEH?!
feel super fat.
too long nv exercise alreaady.. too long.
i miss floorball.
itching to play. ugh.
but must wait till a lvls are over then we can use the hall.
feel like going ikea to shop for a new desk..
but so far!!!!
ugh.
i think of so many things at one time.
i should stop now.
signing off !

i am so pissed of with my results and myself.
it's not that i am stupid or what,
but i end up getting this kind of grades.
damn indignant.
gonna chiong for the holidays.
GRRRR.
but must thank the Lord for giving me this opportunity.
to the Alevels and beyond!

woke up this morning to find out that class starts at 8.40,
so yay!
can lepak around for a bit.
and class ends at 12.10. how cool is that.
shiok!!!!
i'm gonna go back home and sleep..

i need to think about a lot of things.
and reflect.
while being a janitor for 8 freaking days..
i hate the school's scanning system.
i hate it!

hello.
haha.
hoho.

was churchwide evangelism today,
we went to novena square and
then to jen and mark's house to hang..
i was quite tired after i ate lunch and fell asleep
on the table.. zzz they freaking have a private pool to themselves!
how cool is that! and then we watched wall-e together,
but i ended up falling asleep again.
went to udders for ice cream and chit chat
with the girls and then took a long bus ride home.
quite a nice day.
but dunno why i just felt so tired.


feeling super moodless right now.
i think i discovered another talent of mine..

DRAMA WATCHING.
i seriously can watch them till the next day!
currently watching 4 dramas at the same time.
1)you're beautiful
2)smile, you
3)they kiss again
4)vampire diaries
and
5) hi my sweetheart (but not really into it)

yes i am watching all of them concurrently...
wow.
even i am amazed at my ability..
haha but it's also not that of a big deal lah.
nothing to be proud of. :/

i know i don't need one,
and i don't want one.
but what is it that i really want?
i don't know. :(
like what nick chew said,
thinking really makes me work up a sweat.

anyway.
gna get skinned alive tmr.
so, bye!

OP.
OP.
OP.
is this friday. gah

this is the very first time in my life
getting stomach flu and it really sucks..
vomitted quite badly.
and i get this super sharp pain in my stomach.
i can't lie down for more than 10 minutes
because it will hurt.
so i practically have been lying down and getting up
for the whole night..
and i am so exhausted.
pffft.

and my hp spoilt.
my samsung U900 touch spoilt.
so i've been using this black and white nokia hp,
which also spoilt.
just my luck.
i need a new phone badly..........
and my bro just got his iphone. :/
nice..
don't be surprised if i don't reply calls or smses..

had a great day yesterday and today!!
watched my girlfriend is an agent with cuz..
very funny!!!!
laughed like crazy in the theatre..
oh yah. before that we met up at PS but
they didn't have the movie, so went to cathay,
but it was fully booked, so we went to paradise to
eat at this fried chicken place and it was really good..
our table was like full of food!
fries, onion rings, chicken wrap, burger, and 8 pcs of chicken.
all for only 16 bucks! = 8 bucks each. YUM!

we were so full we couldn't finish everything..
then we decided to go tiong bahru plaza to watch the movie.
and then on the way there we were like listening to
some really soothing and nice christian songs that he had on his phone.
and then i really felt like pooping! thanks to all the great food..
so it was like constipation + holy music in the background.
WOW. great combination.

he was so nice.. cos i didn't know where is the bathroom so
the minute we came out of the mrt he and i ran like crazy kids and
raced each other to the gates to tap our card!
partly also because i really needed the toilet but we
were really sprinting and everyone was staring.
but it was fun!!!!!
yeah. so he sprinted all the way to the loo with me.
what an awesome cousin i have :)

today was church,
had a great lunch with the tards,
and then went for DJ's talk which was really helpful,
and then went back home. :)
tired, but quite happy.

going to perak for white water rafting really soon
and i am really looking forward to it...
i wonder if my seniors and old clts are going also.
finally can be with the ncc peeps again
and do all these adventure and adrenaline pumping stuff.

will be doing:
canyoning=abseiling in the middle of a waterfall :D!
white water rafting
adventure caving, with waterways inside the cave
shopping and interaction with orang aslis.

seriously.
i must marry someone who really loves this kind of things
and also animals and also movies.
if not my life will be so boring..
before i grow old i must go try bungee jumping
and sky diving. !!!!!

this is the bomb right here.

Jimi Hendrix, one of the greatest electric guitarist that ever lived.
seriously makes me want to copy his guitar plucking fingers
with a constipated face in the privacy of my room
where no one can see me acting like a retard :D


This dude plays the guitar with his teeth (back in the 1960s).
back then if the bands don't use their teeth,
they're like mediocre, and it needs a lot of skill because
if you play it wrongly you might lose your teeth.
electric guitars have metal strings so when you pluck
them they vibrate much more than nylon string.
seriously nobody does that now.
okay maybe some people do, but i have
never heard of it, nor seen it.
maybe i'll try it after i take out my braces :D

love him.
don't know if you like the same type of music i do.
:p
i think i like all music genres esp rock & the blues
and sappy oldie love songs celine dion, whitney houston,
mariah carey (when she wasn't craving for ppl to touch her body)

if the lyrics don't make sense,
i immediately don't like it.
like some songs from fall out boy is just stupid..
lyrics don't make sense at all.
EG: she's my winona (title itself is funky
and it's got no link to the song AT ALL)

"Life's just a pay stub on debt
Only less diligent
And when the two collide
It's no coincidence
The lights are on
And everybody's home

The only thing suicidal
Here is the door
We had a good run
Even I have to admit
Life's just a pay stub on death
Only less diligent

Hell or glory
I don't want anything in-between
Then came a baby boy
With long eyelashes
Daddy said you gotta show
The world the thunder"

can't believe people actually love a song
that basically doesn't mean anything,
and it's not composed wholeheartedly at all.
so make sure you support musicians worthy of their fame.
not just some weird group of people..
i can also come out with a song with no link!

"my cat is a dog with no whiskers
and the pond outside the palm tree is swaying
to the beat in the box under the stairs"

THERE! i did that in 10 seconds with no increase of cash in my pockets.
and those weirdos get paid for it!
pffft!

sorry about the previous post.
i think i let my frustration get the better of me.
pw is getting on my nerves.
or maybe it's just me.
don't know.
i don't hate my nephew.
maybe i'm jealous of the attention he's getting from my mum.
she's like totally ignoring me when he's around.
other than the crying part he's fine.
don't worry, i didn't abuse him :D
:O!
when he irritates me i just go into my room
and close the door.
nothing more.

finally i got my Ipod nano 5g.
it's super cool can.
still figuring out how to use it though.
can store 16g worth of things. :D
can't live without my music...

right now i feel as if i am at a crossroad.
dunno what to do. :/
but i'm just going to trust God,
i know no matter what happens,
good or bad,
at least i am still alive and kicking.

lol i told my brother what happened (read previous post) and he laughed.
yah he just laughed.
i expected him to be on my side and rant on how riduculous it was.
but he said:"You get angry so much for what? She can say whatever she
wants. You don't even know her that well, care so much for what?"
kena enlightened. true true.

it's like you telling me "eh i have a sister/brother"
and i reply to you "no, you don't!"

Apparently some people think that i made up the
fact that i have 2 brothers, and one of them has a son,
which is my nephew.
Are they are only the ones deserving to have siblings?
it's damn weird can?

HEY WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD I PRETEND TO HAVE A IMAGINARY
EXTENDED FAMILY TREE? WHY? WHY? WHY?!!?

like you want me to prove to you that i have 2 brothers?
what?
you want to call my mum and check how she got knocked up
2 times before me?
or
do you want me to go find baby pictures of me and my
brothers together so you believe me?
seriously i can't be bothered la.

you can go on thinking:
"Rebekah's a psycho because she thinks she has 2 brothers and
a nephew when in reality she is just an only child"

*roll eyes*

i'm damn pissed now can.
on top of this crap and project work,
my nephew is freaking crying nonstop because he doesn't have
his TUTU. the one where babies put it in their mouth.
and it is freaking getting on my nerves.
5am in the morning screaming and stuff
I AM TRYING TO SLEEP.
never again will i let him stay at my house.
CRY NONSTOP. i hate it. I HATE IT!
He cries so miserably when my mum is around,
then when she goes to the kitchen he stops..
WTHeck...
I HATE BABIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I HATE THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I HATE THEMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
just the sound of their cry, it makes me feel so annoyed.
and ticked off.
If he can't find his tutu,
it means it's lost!!!
what is the point of crying and screaming "TUTU! TUTU!"
as if it will run back to you..
YAH. RIGHT.

you'll probably think i'm a monster to hate babies.
i am totally fine with them.
until they open their mouths and cry,
and act all miserable to get attention.
it's so frustrating.
!@#$%^
HE JUST STARTED CRYING AGAIN BECAUSE MY MUM SAT BESIDE HIM.
really feel like cursing right now.

sry,
just damn pissed right now.
the crying doesn't help me calm down at all..
been going on since 5 am today.
power.
3 Hrs and 40 Min of pathetic whining,
pining for his dumb TUTU to put into his mouth.
just shut up and get on with it already!

i am currently super into this Korean drama,
YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL
it is superrrr niceeeee!!!!
and the male and female lead is so
handsome and pretty please!!





a nun became a male pop singer in disguise
until her twin brother recovers from his accident
and joins a pop group A.N.JELL
and then there's this love pentagon going on
between the group members who are all guys and her.
the way i describe the drama does not give credit
to it la. just go watch.

watch this!!! ^^


i think it's better than Boys over flowers lah..
omg. can't wait till the next episode is up.
www.mysoju.com is a really good place to watch dramas and movies
for free. been going there to get my dose of kdrama for ages.

good news!
i'm in for another shopping trip to m'sia
with my 2nd brother and my sis in law :D
and they moved to a much much better condo
which is newly built right on top of a shopping mall
with the jacuzzi and all.
:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!
cannot wait..
their last condo i stayed in was quite bad..
i went to the gym and the whole place was spoilt..
the running machine was like shredded into pieces
and the building was quite haunted looking.
so this time it'll be way better!
i miss the food there.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Had halloween's yesterday :D
SUper fun!
all of us dressed up and stuff
we played games, and watched Shutter together
and then ran in the rain to the bustop
in black trash bags.
had a really good conversation in the bus
with martin and addis..
it got me thinking quite a lot and
like now i know i am not the only one
struggling with some stuff...
in fact a lot of people do too.

i just don't see the need to anymore :)
because i want the real thing,
and not just the cheap thrill.
i'd rather save my money to buy a louis vuitton
than just buying a pasar malam bag
just because i want to buy a bag.
(i don't mean that literally fyi)
sorry i know i don't get to the point often,
but it's because i don't know who reads these stuff.
might be some judgy jane or nosey nehemiah
so try not to assume.
cos you might think completely off from what i am trying to say.
okay what am i saying.

anyway,

i was so darn glad that my nephew was gone on
friday. but when i got home after church in a cab
there was this cab in front of mine,
and out popped my brother with a huge luggage. (i am dead serious)
my heart literally dropped.
because it means that he will be staying for at least a month.
turned out my assumption was right.
DANG IT.
why can't i have any peace in this house?!
AND
my nephew is coming back today for another week.
i can seriously scream right now.
i am so sick of hearing him call me "gu gu"
it sounds so old, and perverse!!!
and i really don't like it when my mum starts to
i don't know how to describe this.

she goes:
"see what gu gu is doing? gu gu is (insert activity here)"
"go let gu gu see your toys! :D"
"where is gu gu? gu gu is in her room"
"give the (insert object here) to gu gu"
"ask gu gu to switch on Barney for you to watch"
"call gu gu"

not only i get overrated but my CAT too.

"see what fish fish is doing?"
"fish fish is playing with the ball"
"see fish fish is looking at you/sleeping"
"come and play with fish fish!"
*head banging*
thank god i still have fish to accompany me
and hear me out.

:) my life is so full of
very high ups
and
very low downs
and added droppings.

tune in to episode 10984657 coming your way soon!
:S

maybe i didn't really love you,
maybe i just loved the MEMORY of you.
i received the truth that i should have received a year ago, today.
it immediately sent a lump in my throat.
rushed out of LT3 because the tap was gonna go full blast,
it hurt alot,
to see the truth staring at my face. *the ugly truth*
BUT
after i calmed down and stopped overreacting
it all just faded away.
1000km deeper into my brain.
and for once in a very long time,
i felt like i can finally breathe,
like i'm not held down by anything anymore.
:D

i just played the staring game with my cat,
and i lost!!! because i blinked.
i realised that cats don't blink!
WTHeck!

i think i need a break.
from everything and go away
and reflect.
i'm so sorry.
not to you but i'm saying sorry to myself
for being such an ass
to my own self.
for being so controlling towards my own emotions
and justletting them go in the wrong way.
and i'm sorry to mummy too.
i'm not in the right mind these
few days..
i really need a break.

Jogathon, over.
YAY to being a road marshall..
muahaha.
what a waste of time. 0.0
congrats to those who won prizes,
and if you didn't it's okay, try harder next time.
for those who just strolled through the whole route,
NO WATER FOR YOU!
haha! kidding lah.

you know the feeling when you
promised yourself so hard that you won't ever do it again
but end up doing the exact same thing?
darn it.
why am i so gah.
He must think i'm nuts..
psychotic,
crazy,
weak,
weird even,
But i don't care.
I know i'm not.
maybe i should never have clicked that send button.
why did i click it.
why?!
dang it rebekah.
seriously.

okay gonna post the photos
about my trip to Batam..










































Leonard!!
me and leonard trying to teach the sec 1 & 2 kids. me in english, him in bahasa



trying to work out a question that i gave her..

teaching the kids a simple dance that we made up last minute HAHA
holding a really cute chick.











CREPES. deliciously awesome.

too zonked out to play cards on the way back to S'pore


i really miss the place.
there was this guy (leonard) who was my translator..
he was so nice! and he fetched me on his bike for a bit.
waow. first time i rode on a bike.
super fun :) like roller coaster ride.
i hope i see him again. :/

and my NCC sir just rang me up and asked me if
i wanted to join them on their trip to
Perak, white water rafting..........
HOMYGOSHITISMYFAVEACTIVITYINTHEWHOLEWIDEWORLD
okay lah not really. if you ask me whether i like a
certain sporting activity i sure say i love it.(cept for soccer)
i totally want to go can! 28 to 1 Dec.
I really want to go.
hang out with my old mates and see my juniors again.
I MISS NCC LIKE CRAZY. i must go!
but i got YJC history trip which dunno if it's like confirmed
or not. but the dates don't clash!!!!
so most prob i will go.. but $$$$
and then there is Japan trip (doubt i can even go la)
and Batam church retreat.
i think if i can go Japan i will not go
because it is too expensive ($837).
i know it's like quite reasonable already for a 9D trip
but i still have to pay for other trips plus
shopping money and food blah blah sure become 2K already.
i'd rather go to 3 small trips than 1 expensive trip.
so altogether i have 4 trips.
yay. and headache.

i think i really screwed up this year. :(
sigh. but what's done can't be undone.

just came back from batam not long ago..
it's like 1am now..
it was really really fun.
i went there to teach the children from the slums
and it was so rewarding..
the children there are really really grateful
that people even come to teach them stuff.
taught them math. :D
after that the students came and thank me,
they took my hand and put it to their forehead.
waow. i never did that to any teacher in my
whole life. not even after 6/4 years of teaching.
i just taught them for an hour!
the place was so sad there were rubbish everywhere
and the houses are very run down.
upload the photos tomorrow..

after that we went to the SPA over at the mall.
i paid SGD 10 for a body scrub and steam!
omg.. super cheap cheap cheap..
i am so going back there again..
and then we also went to sing Kbox.
one person $1 for an hour.
CHEAP CHEAP CHEAP.
i am totally going back there with my friends again.

tell you more soon.
my cat is so annoying..
jumping here and there around my room.
going to sleep.
night.
or should i say morning?
whatever.

currently super into owl city,
She & Him, The Who, Alter Bridge,
Iron & Wine and paramore's new album
brand new eyes.. :DD

finished playing soccer today...
wow i was so tired after playing 2 matches..
so so so so tired..
i went home after that and switched on
the computer and while waiting for it to load i fell
asleep for an hour at sitting position.
backpain! TIRED.
it was fun, but i prefer playing a sport that
i can control the ball.. like FLOORBALL!
my soccer is like FAIL..
FAIL!
did go kart and reggae dance too..
go kart was lame.
reggae was gay.

i have to be at kallang at 7.30am tmr
for dragon boating!!!!
yay and boo. boo because i have to wake up so early to travel.
why can't they just prepare a bus?!?!
bet i'm gna get sun burnt.
but it will be fun.
i know it will be.

my nephew is getting really naughty..
in front of my mum he's so clingy
and with me he's so obedient.
i guess it's because i can't stand any nonsense
from him.. he even wants to play with my cat's ball
and starts screaming and crying when i give it back to
the cat.. wth.. he already has one big pile of toys
but he just wants to snatch away the one toy that my cat has.
=.= because my mum spoils him i can't do anything.
gah.
i can't wait for him to go back to his own house.
i want my peace!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
no screaming, crying, temper tantrums..
i miss it.

lets just talk about friendship.
to me it's about not giving up on each other
no matter the situation.
even if the person was at fault
i would still listen to her side.
and even if she was wrong
i would correct her but
i won't leave her to the sharks alone.
and it's about being open to whatever
things you have inside your mind.
without filtering any details out.
it's about having stayovers and long conversations.
it's about not being afraid to show your ugly side
to the other person
being vulnerable.
i think if you don't want to be open
in a friendship, it won't grow much.
friendship is something that you have to put effort into.
you can't just expect someone to be your bff after
one hangout or one long conversation.
yeah sure you will have a lot to talk about
but how long will that period last? 6 months maybe?
is that person the first one you call
when you have a problem?
no i don't think so.
like for example.
me and sonia we have been friends since k1
and we are still best friends up to this day.
and we have so much fun when we spend time.
i go to her house and sleep over like every week
or sometimes she comes to my house too.
and we have movies and cook stuff for each other
and we share so many things with each other.
we pray together, go to church together,
talk about life together, tell each other what
we are struggling with.
she practically knows every single detail of my life
and she never judges me at all.
and she is the first person i call for
advice or when i'm just feeling emotional
and also when i have good news! she always listen
always give advice and i really appreciate her for that.
moral of the story,
long friendship needs more than just the normal stuff.
it needs depth and time. not like talking about
the latest fashion and who's choking who
because that will die out.
okay maybe i dont make much sense
but i just hope you get what i am trying to say.
not like i am an awesome friend but i do try.
and i really treasure friendship alot.
and i get really affected if my friendships are sour.
except for the graceful person.
that one is like err. dont wanna go there.
and i really regard you as my friend.
so yah. i just really feel hurt about that.
couldn't sleep much last night.
it's just so hard when you don't really share much.
like i dont even really know u much except for a few
basic details, but i don't know what you are struggling
with, whether you are doing okay inside or what food you like..
nothing..
okay this is a stupid post
but whatever.
hate me or love me. up to you.
i am like seriously beating around the bush here.
sorry. i just can't go straight to the point.
i just can't.

shucks.
school tmr.
shucks.

i had a really lame day.
chasing school cats.
with tigerboy.
and there's school tmr.
HAI.
so dumb.

my nephew is being a pain in the butt..
keep throwing things around
and my aunt keeps making dog noises
to entertain him.
really really annoying.
hitting the beach soon.

hangout on sunday night :)

me addis and soniaaa






sonia and maddie. haha 3 BFFs

addis, EJ and maddie. they look so cute! lol
this is my fave picture of us!
nice photo. nice.
bunch of posers... :D
hey, how ya doin'? good??
peace! i mean you no harm! dang i shouldve worn it properly. then it wouldve looked more freaky..
tissues are no longer the in thing. just put a loaf of bread there.

pfffft TARD! HAHA
jamming in macdonald's
teehee.
soniaaaa.
that's about all.

we're having a halloween's party soon.
wonder what i'll dress up as..
dressed up as a corpse bride last year..
i think i wanna be a vamp.
but isn't it so cliche...
hmm. who cares.
i'll dress up as whatever i want.
and i'll have fun.

watched pandorum with jon and toured ion today.
FUN.
pandorum is quite nice.
and really scary..
thriller. and alot of suspense going on..
you dont know what will happen next.
but also a very intellectual movie..
you have to like think a lot about the storyline
which is good because 99% of movies dont really make you think.
interesting movie to watch.
i do recommend you to watch it.
cool movie.

i am seriously aiming for this baby.
my ipod is screwed and i can't live w/o
my music.
it runs out of batt in an hour
and only has 2 gb of memory and
the amount of songs i have is more than 2gb.
ugh.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

watched my sister's keeper..
it was really really moving..
and i cried. sad. really sad.
a movie worth spending on.
4.5/5
the 0.5 was because cameron diaz kind of
sobbed weird at the climax of the scene when she
finally let go of kate. i was gonna cry like crazy until
she suddenly made weird noises at that part..
turned me off.
maybe it's just me.
but other than that it was really really awesome..
strongly encourage you to watch it..
there were like ten of us who went and watch it together
and all of us cried.. the whole row crying haha
some cried throughout the movie.. wow. i cried most at
the taylor and kate part..
if you don't cry, you're weird.
even addis who came cried.
okay enough about crying.
just go and watch it.

monday watching another movie with jon.
i think i am going to watch Imagine That
haha. quite funny.
there are so many movies that i wanna watch!!!
i really really love watching movies.
i can like stay at home watching movies the whole
day.. and my best buddies love watching movies too!
i am a movie freak.
haha. when i have kids, i will spend time with them
by watching movies together as a family.
wouldn't that be so fun!!!!
okay. i need to go to sleep.
cos it's 3 in the morning.

World Cup is this thursday and i am going to play
with the floorball girls.. awesome.. i think the match
will be quite funny, because i think most girls dont know
how to play soccer including me. last time i tried kicking a soccer
ball my big toe swelled up. looking forward to it.

meeting my girls later to watch my sister's keeper at 10.45pm
and then maybe going over to sonia's house to sleep over again..
heehee.
don't know why but i am growing quite fond of
indie music now. esp iron and wine. they are awesome.
they even have a song(belated promise ring)
that is sung about Rebekah!!!
most prob they meant Rebecca. but who cares.
still sounds like my name
HAHA!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

feeling like an idiot since thursday,
checking my email more than i should.
waiting, waiting and waiting
for something that will never be.
i'd rather just get it over quickly than
sitting around like a waiting duck.
this obviously shows that i'm not that
important. and it kind of hurts.
no. it hurts a lot.

maybe i am thinking too much.
because it's not like all these emotions happened a week
ago, but it's been going on for so long that
i don't know if i still have the strength to hold on.
i'm sick of this mind game..
it makes me so sad everytime i think about it..
so darn sad...
not that i'm blaming you
because i never told you anything.
and it's not your fault.
it's just me one siding the whole time.
the whole damn time i feel so ashamed.
ashamed of being such a creep.

i was feeling emo and typed out a ridiculously emo post
but decided against it because it made me sound wussy and needy.

btw when i say emo,
i don't mean like hiding in the corner,
alienating everybody
and thinking that i suck, or the world's gonna end,
i'm gonna go slit my wrists and drink the blood (hahaha watch too much
vampire diaries)

BUT
i mean i feel emotional,
and sad. but i'll get over it.
i always do every time.
i'm a strong person!!!!!
(quit trying so hard rebekah.. =.=)
:D
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

exammmmsss are overr!!!!!
finallyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.
bad part is i am now having a fever.
38.2 degrees.
and an extremely bad sore throat.
i think i have a throat infection.
hai. during the paper i was feeling really terrible..
but i got through it!

watching vampire diaries now HEHE

omg i forgot to say something really important!
at least it is important to me..
one part of my childhood died.
when my mum told me the chicken rice uncle died.(yesterday)
he had liver cancer and only found out at the last stage.
i was so devastated...
i called jon to tell him and he was also shocked..
no, we're not a bunch of overreacting teenagers high
on hormones and emotions but
that kind uncle was a person we've known ever since
we were born.. and he sells chicken rice ever since
we came into this world and we both grew up eating his
chicken rice and no other stall's until we were about
13 years old..

but we always go back to eat it time and again..
he was so full of joy when he sees us.. and always
give us extras and discounts and he is one
happy person. really. always smiling always serving..
and he isn't that old either.. like late 50s..
i realised that life is so fragile..
one minute he's there and the next he's gone..
me and jon went there not long ago to have dinner
and that was the last time we ever saw him..
:( i am really upset that such a sunny man
is taken away so soon.
so please.
treasure the people around you
before they're gone.
i'm still in denial man..
how can it be..

we plan to go there on monday to give our condolences.
sniff. :'(
goodbye my chicken rice uncle.
may you rest in peace.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

history is history!!!!!!!!!!
muahaha.
today's paper was the bleakest paper i ever sat
for. i never felt so nervous about an exam before.
so much content was running through my head..
4 essays in 3 hours.. 45 min per essay..
my hands were aching.. first major fajor exam..
worse part was my teeth was chattering throughout..
because i sat right under the air con..
i thought YJ was like budget..
but the air-con is powerful man..
seriously.. my pinky got frostbitten and it went numb..
i was practically hugging myself to keep warm..
brrrrrr... i wished i brought my jacket..
oh well.

i really love my mother.
everyday when i come home from school
i feel so happy when she's at home.
i think me and my mum are now quite close..
sometimes we talk about stuff till 4 am in the morning..
and when i have problems i tell her and she'll
give me advice or just listen and hug me when i cry..
she still loves me even when i am being an ass sometimes.
i wish i can hurry up finish my education
so she can live more comfortably...
i want to be the one giving her money and
buying her clothing and good food.
i think she really deserves all the good things in life..
because she sacrificed so many things for me and my bros.
i wanna grow up and be her provider!

i cannot wait to go overseas to study.
if i can. i dont wanna go to a local university.
i am so sick and tired of the singapore education system.
there is barely enough space for individuality.
everyone plays safe and even the fun stuff you do have to
be planned out most of the time.
where did spontaneity go?
which part of "let go" do people not get?
i remember when i went to new zealand
me and my girls went to this country looking bar(yes i said bar,
which means it's not a club) which was near our ranch
and the place was like kinda out in the country and then we ordered coke
for ourselves and sat at the wooden table just plain
enjoying the atmosphere which was so homely..
the people were really friendly, the place was warm,
people were just playing pool together, chit chatting,
laughing, country music was playing..
it was just so warm..

in singapore it's like "why you stare stare"
"mind your own business"
"talk to my hand"
"do i even know you?"
"leave me alone lah"
kind of atmosphere..
not friendly at all! and you rarely talk to people
whom you don't know!

over there people walked up to us and asked where
we were from and why did we come to new zealand..
and just plain chit chatting.. people even waved at us from
vehicles and shouted greetings and stuff.
and they were never stingy with their bright smiles
and "goodday, you are you this bright mornin'? :D"
or "hello dear, feel free to take a look around at my shop"

i want to get out of here!
but i still love s'pore lah
i just don't wanna stay here my whole life
like a frog in a well..
no wayyyyyy....

A MESSAGE TO ALL HATERS



HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
ignore the vulgarity.

darn it.
falling sick..
i thought i was only having flu and sore throat
but now i am having a fever.
i hope i don't die..
i really don't feel like studying in this condition..
my nose is so itchy.. i wanna sneeze but i can't..
and that feeling really really sucks..


monday going shopping and movie at orchard with jon!
i've not been to ANY of the new malls..
and he said he'll bring me around.
HOW NICE. and then we're going to see a movie!
and order nachos, popcorn, hot dog with extra cheese.
i'm going to waste away the whole day.
i need to chillax desperately.
i think i need new clothes.. haven't been shopping
since may when i went to NP to buy court shoes for investiture..
wow. cotton on wait for me!

don't leave me hanging.
please. don't.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

tell you my new loser hobby.
watching music videos on youtube
hugging my cat and lounging on the bed.
and singing and head banging along. :D
make sure you switch of the music player on the lower left
side of the page..

don't stop beleeeeving! by journey.
don't you just love oldies? and
the way they dressssss..

in loving memory by alter bridge
it makes me cry :( this song is really beautiful.
close your eyes and listen.
the comments for this song are all dedicated to their loved
ones whom they lost. :'(
(video isn't original tho. couldn't find it)

gravity by sara.
omg. she wrote it after her first heartbreak. lol.
no wonder i was immediately into this song the very
first time i heard it because of the relatable lyrics. :'( sniff.
i never ever ever. want to feel those emotions again.
cracked me up kind of bad. like humty dumpty when he fell off the wall.
sucks. until now the bandages still peel off sometimes..
guess i'm too old fashioned. no other brand seems suitable.
time will heal. but i think i take much, much longer. :o

crazier by taylor awift
this makes me reminisce. and emo. >.<
let go by boys like girls
i find this song really nice.
i like it's simplicity. love the acoustics
one day i shall play the guitar like them!
need more practice.. darn..
guys+guitars=awesome ^^

thunder by Boys like girls
another nice cover.
and the lyrics are pretty good too.

the great escape by boys like girls
i just can't get enough of their cover songs.
better than original ones i feel.

five minutes to midnight by boys like girls..
the lead singer is so awesome.. *dazed*
i might actually love him. or maybe his voice and his guitar skills

on top of the world by boys like girls again.
you may think their songs are teeny bopper-ish
but their acoustic is undeniably imba. i thought
they were just another band but i changed my mind
after seeing their acoustic. their voice is also great.

lips of an angel by hinder
my all time fave

here without you by 3 doors down
another emo song that i like.

blind by lifehouse
i remember i played this song non-stop
when i uh B.U. yeah. emo song.
really love the lyrics.

you & me by lifehouse
another all time fave of mine..
I KNOW HOW TO PLAY THE GUITAR FOR THIS SONG! :P
bahahahaha

okay that's all for now. next time post somemore.
bah. feel so emo after listening to these songs!
wt.

ah lo you.

one paper down. 2 more to go!
shucks man..
today's literature paper was kinda hard..

"write a critical appreciation of the following passage from proof, paying
particular attention to its presentation of madness and genius."
and then they throw you an extract from the book.
my eyes popped out when i saw "critical appreciation"
wth does that mean.. write an essay appreciating the text?
so i crapped the whole way.
but i think overall i did quite okay.

through the paper i was suffering..
i had a runny and blocked nose and sore throat..
couldn't breathe properly..
i bet the invigilator laughed when they walk past me..
"wah why this student do exam paper with the mouth wide open one"
nose cannot breathe of course use mouth lor.
chucked 3 strepsils into my mouth right before the paper.
gah.
i feel horrible.

i watched the nigahiga pwned video again.
it's so funny please! esp the part where he did the
different accents.. south part of america i think is texas
and further south is mexico or spain or argentina or whatever.
that's why he talked like that.
epic.

these teeth really need braces.
my eyes immediately zoomed in to the gap at the lower jaw...
when taking this kind of photo,
they need perfect teeth or the audience will not get the main point!
okay maybe it's just me being too particular about teeth.

cat cat eating! isn't the photograph creative?!
taken from the bottom of a transparent table or something.

we pretend we don't know each other.
so weird.
really weird.
but you're happy.
so i guess it's fine.

i really don't want to go japan at the end of the year.
i don't want to.

spent the night at sonia's yesterday again..
EJ's back!! so we ran barefooted with our dinner
to his house (same condo)
and ate donuts with addis too.
and talked about his china trip.
crashed on the bed and saw this
FREAKING FUNNY VIDEO PLEASE
I LAUGHED TILL MY SIDES ACHED.
I BEG YOU TO WATCH IT.
you have to listen attentively and get the joke tho.
cos they talk quite fast. turn up the volume.

NIGAHIGA IS AWESOME. OKAY. PWNED.
and then we just sat down and talked
about alot of stuff.
i missed EJ alot. 6 weeks with no tard sucks.
but like when he came back it seems so different.
i don't know how to say it but yah..
but he's still my best friend no matter what.
i just hope that jolly and sensible guy is still inside somewhere.
somewhere.

WE ARE GOING CHOMP CHOMP'S ON SUNDAY
YOU FREAKSSSSSSSSSS!!!
to celebrate maddie's 1st spiritual birthday!!
(it's not some ghostly birthday,
its the day she was baptised -.-)
we went there last year and we are going there again!
now that every one is back together again.
because of promos i've been missing so many hang
outs that i am so sick of it.
going to BATAM on the 24th october!!!
going there to an orphanage to help out
and i am really looking forward to it.
i am going and nothing is going to stop me.
everytime YJ got some random call back on saturdays
and i HATE IT.

i am NOT going to talk about promos.
although today's paper went quite well
thanks to God. seriously. both topics i predicted
and focused more on, came out.
yeap.
THANKS TO GOD.!!!!!!!!!!!
blalalalalalalalalalalalalalala!

my fish.
i wished i named my cat "dog" instead of fish.
wouldn't it be SO funny when you call dog but a cat comes
running to you?! it's awesome.
but i think better not change the name.

fish is so funny/cute/smart.

i tell you why:

1) She waits for me right outside the door when i bathe.

2) she loves to play with pebbles and use her cute little paws to
push them around.

3) She never listens to my mother. only to me ^^

4) She always like to run out of the house and bite my money plant

5) She loves to play hide and seek, and catching with me

6) she gets really excited when i stare at her and start bouncing off the
walls and furniture

7) She knows when i am going to confine her in the kitchen
and will hide under the sofa. i have to drag her out.

8) she loves to eat egg yolk. no kidding. raw or cooked doesn't matter.
just nice that i hate egg yolk so i give it to her.

9) she loves to sleep on my stomach when i sleep. and kneed my tummy
with her paws. so nice la! and quite itchy also. haha!

10)she and my hamster cannot get along. fish always end up getting scratched by
my hamster. or nipped in the nose. i'm serious. my hamster doesn't take any
nonsense from her.

11)she knows how to sit! just like a dog! but only when i have food.

12)she always meow back when i meow to her.

13)she likes to stare at me with those big eyes and cock her head side to side
when i am doing things.

i love more and more everyday. so cute.

some pictures we took together some time ago :))

fish: oh shucks i hate taking photos with rebekah! must turn away, turn away!

fish: holey crap! she's even trying to kiss me. argh go away from me evil one!

i refuse to be taken advantage of!

rebekah: heh heh heh, no matter how you struggle, you're stuck with me 4ever!

fish: she thinks she's so smart.. grrrr.. one day my equally evil plan shall succeed!

fish: eh heh heh heh.. victory shall be mine someday! you just wait rebekah!

i love eating the food she gives me so i have no choice but to entertain her. >:(

fish: darn it! what the heck is she trying to do again?! noooooooooooooooooooo!

maybe i can headbutt her! muahahahaha

rebekah: muahaha you can never escape from my grasp!!!

fish: noooooooooooooooo! *struggles struggles*

rebekah: muahahahah your tofu is mine fish!

fish: *struggling harder* maybe i should just scratch her!

rebekah: i give up la. who wants to kiss a fish anyway.

fish: as if i want to kiss another girl! PUI!

just feeling a little lame. bah. gah.

saw the news.
it said two men confronted/harassed some girls in the streets
but turned out they weren't girls
but guys dressed up as girls because they went to
a stag night party (whatever that is)
the even more awesome part is that they are cage fighters.
guys who go into a cage and wrestle.
bahahaha
those guys obviously got hell from them.
so funny! they must have been humiliated badly.

VAMPIRE DIARIES IS AWESOME.
go catch it.
especially is you don't really like twilight.
some say it is way better than it.
i love both of em.
:D

argh.
i hate talking about promos..
so i won't say anything about it.

That wall.
that particular wall that i really like,
the wall that is taller than all other walls,
the wall that i walk past everyday,
the wall that i am forbidden to go near,
the wall that didn't reply,
the wall that is so near, but yet so far.
The wall.






EJ's coming back this saturday.
hurrah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
one more yishun buddy.
^^