Slow dancing in a burning room.
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Photobucket REBEKAH :)
17 March 92
SP Biomedical Science '13
Rebekah Lai Hui Hui

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Friday, February 04, 2011 @ 7:38 PM

After 626 posts,
I have decided to move on to Tumblr.

Follow me at gethookedonmachineguns.tumblr.com

:D


Thursday, February 03, 2011 @ 9:34 PM

I'm thinking of switching to tumblr..
Blogger is seriously lacking in efficiency
and also, they don't allow me to upload photos in a bulk
which I love to do. Like in facebook.
Plus I love fashion,
but I just simply cannot be bothered to
SAVE AS and then BROWSE and UPLOAD
friggin waste of my timeeee.

BLOGGER NEEDS TO REVAMP THEIR WEBSITE
IF NOT IT MIGHT DIE SOON
I AM NOT JOKING
I IS GETTING SICK OF IT.


Time heals.
Tuesday, February 01, 2011 @ 3:52 PM

CHINESE NEW YEAR IS AROUND THE CORNER..
It seems like yesterday I just celebrated New Year's.
Time flies.
and before we know it,
we'll have 3 kids running around,
and not too long after that,
teenagers asking us for money.

This new year is going to be rather weird..
Don't feel like saying why.
I just really wanna get this exam thing done and over with
so I can go play like a mad cat.

I really don't know how to become a mother..
My younger nephew came over this morning
and wailed like a banshee..
It just made my blood pressure rise..
Babies crying just triggers something nasty in me.

And the cab driver this morning was going so fast
I thought we'd crash,
and during the whole ride my breathing was rather shallow
as I was kind of scared.
but of course we didn't crash..
I have a fear of cars going too fast..
Maybe because I was involved in an accident years back..

I wouldn't mind going back to India anytime.
Oh yah. they were thinking about a HYC India
reunion at the end of this year!
Thrilled to the bone.
I miss my friends so much.

Currently addicted to:
Sarabareilles
Mikeposner
Elizabeth and the catapult.


Saturday, January 29, 2011 @ 10:09 PM

MIAOW.
what a tiring day. and my room looks like a pig sty (again)
i have so much to say but my fingers are lazy
so next time then.


Perfectionist. No doubt
Wednesday, January 26, 2011 @ 2:23 AM

I FAILED MY BM ASSESSMENT. SHOOT.
I SUCK.

SUPER ANNOYED WITH MYSELF RIGHT NOW.
I SHOULD NOT CURSE.


Monday, January 24, 2011 @ 6:27 PM

Finally I have some time to myself today.
Been quite a hectic weekend..
Wasn't able to go home before 10pm 2 nights in a row..
Can't take it.

What kind of person are you??
I really want to find out.
Sometimes I feel like you're so nice,
and then sometimes I feel very judged,
and sometimes I feel ignored.
Everyone's like singing the same tune except me..
Maybe they're right about it..
Didn't see you react in any way.
So it's what I think it is right?

I feel so strange being in the same place as you,
yet I still look out for you.
I am so freaking contradicting.


Okay shut up rebekah.
As usual I am thinking too much.
This probably isn't even an issue.
It's all in my own head.


Pretty pretty please.
@ 2:04 AM



Pardon the sex scene and vulgarities..
I find this really meaningful.
Feels like looking into my own life.
Cut my hair short too because I felt like crap.
LOL.
Reminds me of secondary school..
Got pushed down the stairs,
somebody emptied a sweet drink on my head while walking back home..
Epic..
Excluding the slashing of wrists and stealing HAHAHA
Too chicken to do it.

But yeah.
Been through the phase where everything seems less than perfect.
The weirdest thing is,
because of them I am who I am.
When she checked on her daughter I almost cried.


Saturday, January 22, 2011 @ 12:21 AM

Frustration is kicking in..
My cat is missing for almost a day already.
Why can't she just come home???
And save me the grief I will have to go through.
I give her so much love and this is how she treats me and my house.
Like a hotel.
But then again she is a cat.
But she's my best friend and my confidante too!!!
Why can't she understand that?
All this waiting is killing me.
I miss her :(

I hope she is okay, wherever she is.
God please return her to me...
I need her.
and I'm pretty sure she needs me too. :'(
BOO HOO HOO
I REALLY FEEL LIKE CRAP RIGHT NOW.
I WANT MY CAT.
NOW.
FISH IF YOU SEE THIS PLEASE COME BACK TO MUMMY.
:(


Wednesday, January 19, 2011 @ 7:40 PM

Now I know why hearts harden over long periods of time.
I think when people get hurt they either:
a) Don't care anymore (when deep down they actually do for awhile more)
b) Yes, I am hurt but it'll get better.

obviously option (a) would harden the person's heart
if they choose to think that way too many times,
until they become bitter and negative.

Although the easier option is (a),
I really don't want my heart to harden.
I can feel myself becoming a bit more bitter everytime I choose to just
shove things under the carpet (which is what I do best)

But it's so hard to be vulnerable to myself.
I am actually relieved today is a busy day because there were some things
I really don't want to think about..
But I know at the end of each day I'll still have to face it no matter what.

Every single time I feel a little upset or hurt
my brain would automatically say "Just suck it up Reb"
which now, thinking about it, its actually me just suppressing my feelings.

Guess I'll just have to press on till the semester ends.
Then I'll have more time to think about such things
other than piles of work and revision.
And I wouldn't have to face the person. (ok there I go avoiding again)
Yeah. I just need time and space.
Time and space.


@ 10:23 AM

If that was really all that you can say...
Then haha.


Tuesday, January 18, 2011 @ 11:33 PM

It's okay to cry right?
I just feel really discouraged today.
Can't help but let a few teardrops roll.
But it's okay.
Everything will be alright once I fall asleep and wake up tomorrow morning.
and it'll all become feelings of yesterday.
Won't they?
God has a plan for me, but why can't I just sit still and be patient?

This stupid soft heart of mine...
I really really regret investing my emotions in this..
I'm really sorry.


Unlucky but lucky start
Monday, January 17, 2011 @ 11:30 AM

First I couldn't find my labcoat for like 10 minutes this morning, I realised I didn't bring my wallet on the bus, and the super annoying bus driver refused to let me get a free ride and shouted in hokkien at his buddy at the back of the bus if he had any change to pay for me... by now I was quite irritated but this really nice malay aunty just shoved a dollar into my palm and saved my life. I was really really grateful. If not it might've been a sticky situation.. I know the bus driver is trying to do his job well but I honestly didn't bring my wallet! Where's the love?! Plus I've seen them giving their uncle looking pals a free ride anyway.. sigh. And just when I thought it was over, all the machines in yishun mrt spat out the ten bucks I put inside to buy a standard ticket. All of them. And me being a stubborn person, fed the machine the weird 10 bucks again and again but to no avail. Bleah. Then I had to go to the office to change money and stuff.. could've been on time for class -.-


Friday, January 14, 2011 @ 4:29 PM

TOOOOOOOOOOOT


A lil bit of India
Tuesday, January 11, 2011 @ 5:13 PM







Sunday, January 09, 2011 @ 9:58 PM

Well aren't you a little too obvious...
Even on the facebook wall..
what heck man seriously.
Ugh i really do not want to think about it now..
Anw,
been really sick these past few days..
didn't see the sun for like 4 days.

Sigh.


No I'm sure it isn't me.
Wednesday, January 05, 2011 @ 8:50 AM

So...
These past few days I've been walking around like a zombie.. always feeling tired and stuff. I take a really long time to adjust whenever I come back from overseas. (Pictures of my india trip is in my facebook) now its getting dreary. School/home/cca/church. Yay. But at least its wed today and school ends pretty early. Gonna go to my fave restaurant to have steak with jon and then off to karen's house for dinner. Like as if you care about where I go hahaha. Just happy to be doing something other than work/cca after school. Its only the start of today but I'm already missing my bed. Sigh.


i need to let go
Saturday, January 01, 2011 @ 7:43 PM

Everything has been sucha blurr these past few weeks.
so much fun
so much to learn
so much to see.

don't feel like talking about my india trip.
makes me feel "emo"

I found out something today,
well not really
guess I already sort of know it awhile back
just that it hasnt really sunken in and i refuse to accept the fact.
and when i let it sink in it felt really sad and heavy on my heart.
I really hate my personality..
i hate it so much..
im so entitled and proud and possessive..
how can i not hate myself when I am like that?


Going away
Saturday, December 18, 2010 @ 9:31 PM

My last post before I fly off into the night sky :)
So excited to be on the plane for india.
I pray that all of us will be safe and no one gets sick.
No internet so no updates for awhile. Be back on 30th. I'll miss mummy and fishy :((
Love ya'll.
Bye for now.


Thursday, December 16, 2010 @ 12:21 AM

Lying in bed beside my snoring mother.
Her snoring sounds more like groaning at some points..
worries me.. i think people groan in their sleep
when they feel burdened or bothered by something.
Helped her massage her legs just now..
and i thought to myself for
how long more can i do that for her :(
Sigh.

I feel so trapped in this world..
This constant drive to do well in my studies
makes my mind go gaga.
At the end of the day we're worth nothing more than
a pack of 30 cents fertiliser.
But life still goes on.
Guess I just have to push on.

My brother and my sister in law just went out on a date
as my mum and me can take care of their kid.
How sweet is that??!
Seeing my sister in law so excited when she dolled up
and my brother so handsome. HAHAHAHAHAHA

I totally want that when I get married.
Guess all girls are suckers for romance.
Married or not married. ADMIT IT.

I will make sure the next time I love someone,
it will be my last.
I dislike any sort of drama, whining, complications.
I can't stand it.
It just shows you're not serious about the other party.
I think a relationship should be like 2 best friends being together.
You have quarrels yes, but at the end of the day
you just laugh at it or talk it out! No need to re-enact some
dramatic breakup scene.
Passion doesn't last forever, but love does.
Either that,
or i'll be single and surrounded with 3 cats and a dog.
HHAHAHAHAHAHA that would be lovely too.

But I would like to have my own kid of course.
I think it's an experience to be a parent.
It will definitely cure my childish and selfish ways.
To have to put the needs of the child before my own.
I would certainly like to see myself doing that.
I sometimes feel like I'm too selfish.
Bet my mum will laugh at me.

Life is so much more than earning money or having the
most brilliant brain. These things don't matter at your death bed.
Only your family, the way you lived your life and God will matter.
I would love to dedicate my life to raising children who love God,
and also serve the church if possible.
I sound so old.
Pardon me.
It's just that I don't want to live my life
just by living the moment alone.



Biomedical science..
I really hope I can do research in the future.
But first, I need to slog me guts out.

and good night.


Wednesday, December 15, 2010 @ 12:32 PM

I am having so much fun at my bro's house in KL..
Shopped like crazyyyyyyyyy~
I can never shop like this in singapore..
Never. ever.
Bought SO MANY THINGS.
Bags, shoes, clothes, undies, candy, sunglasses, hair bands etc.
and I ate SO MANY THINGS.
The food here is awesome because it has a lot of variety to choose from.
Seriously spoilt for choice.
Freaking bloated after every meal.
Enjoying my time with my family here.
It's a nice feeling.

Going to sunway lagoon in a bit.
YESSS!
I am dying to check out the bungy jump station..
The weather now's really sunny :)
Sigh I have to return to Singapore tomorrow.
Sucks. But Yay.
Leaving for India on saturday. 3 more days!!!!
WHEEEEEE.
Haven't even started packing anything.
I think i'll have to pack the day before.

Looking forward to spending time with disciples over there
and eat their food and see their culture,
and most importantly get closer to God,
reflect on year 2010 (Honestly the 2nd half of this year was :( )

There this person who keeps floating around in my mind.
Freaking keeps popping up.
I need to stop it!
Argh.
I do not know what it is like to like a person anymore.
Honest.
And also, half the time I have no idea what I am feeling.
It's either, I am happy or sad. No in betweens.
Why am I such a simpleton?

I am so defective. No kidding.
I keep beating myself up for shizz.
Very, very very bad habit to have.
I should grateful for every single aspect of myself
because the God almighty was the one who made me.
Who am I to doubt his power.


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I suddenly thought of Min Li,
she forced me to go out after MSTs to watch rapunzel (which is awesome)
at cathay with her and lizzi.
We literally had a verbal battle on the phone on whether
I should go out or go home, she obviously won.
Couldn't even rebutt her argument.
which was:"YOU ALWAYS GO HOME!!!"
"WHY NOT COME OUT JUST THIS ONCE AFTER EXAMS?!"
Super true hahahahah I ALWAYS GO HOME.
If I feel sad, sit at home and watch movie/tv/drama
If I feel happy, go home and read a book and sleep
If I feel tired, go home and sleep
If I feel sick, go home and sleep
If I feel nothing, stay at home and play with fish
After school, go home and rest, study
After church, go home and relax

It's either I'm at school, church or home.
I HATE GOING TO TOWN. Unless I need to get something.
Yes I do hang out there with my friends,
but rarely. I prefer going over to their house
and sleep over and talk. That is what I call quality time.
AMEN!
So you practically know why they know I ALWAYS GO HOME
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I love being at home.
I have everything I need,
I can sit in whatever way I want to,
there are no false pretences, I can fart/burp loudly
I can sit in the toilet for 10 min and no one will think I'm weird.
I can cook whatever I feel like eating.
basically i can do whatever I want.

Okay if you have no idea what I am talking about,
it is better for it to remain this way.
:P
Ok gotta run
BYE!


OHANA means family 8)
Sunday, December 12, 2010 @ 6:46 PM

Yes that is the name for my tribe this year at church camp!
I loved it so much.
Had a great time playing, learning, talking.
We went to Johor Bahru this year.
Twas such a great outing with the teens.
Caught up alot,
made new friends,
cried with my sisters in christ,
talked about our lives,
talked about God,
thought about our goals,
encouraged each other,
laughed,
camwhored,
slept like a pig,
ate like one,
watched knowing (what an epic movie),

i can go on and on but all in all it was
AWESOME.







Leaving at 8.30 am for Msia tmr with my mummeh
:)
hope i can go sunway lagoon!
Be back on thursday late afternoon :)
I think I'll bring my laptop there lah.
Since it's my bro's house..


At least I have a talent :)
Thursday, December 09, 2010 @ 11:30 PM

I think I finally met my match LOL.
I always seem to screw things up :)
yes that is what i do best.
Screw things up.
Yes.
*jumps onto bed and whacks a pillow*


@ 4:04 PM

YEAHHHHHHH I AM FEELING SO FREAKING HAPPY
for the past 1 day ++ after msts..
Been prawning like nobody's business.
and eating them.
I love food soooooo much.
My closest friends know that they just have to supply me with food,
and my frown will turn upside down. :( > 8D
I can't function well without food.

Tmr onwards is gonna be hectic..
3 trips back to back and only one day rest in singapore.
which is on the 17th :)
And I might be going sunway lagoon how cool is that?!
:( But then noone play with me..
Only me and my mum and my 3 year old nephew.
ah well. I can entertain myself pretty well. I think.
But its kind of sad when you sit exciting rides alone.
No one to freak out with me.
But I can't complain because I am doing what I love.
Gonna miss ...... hehehe
But no I don't think I will because I am having too much fun.

I feel like I do not deserve all this though.
I haven't been working hard this semester. 8((
I'm sorry mum.
But I promise when I get back I'll work hard.


Tuesday, December 07, 2010 @ 7:10 PM

I saw the video for heal the world by micheal jackson..
and I suddenly had an idea.
North Korea is kind of acting like a dweeb recently,
and apparently peace talks, threats by S.Korea & other countries
have been proved useless because it only boosted KJI's ego.

SO USE THE SOFT APPROACH!
like in the video!
Hold a peace rally!
Have everyone gather together by the millions
and at a specific time,
light a candle and hug each other and maybe even cry a little
if someone is filming.
Maybe stop everything for one whole day if possible.
To show their sincerity.
Make some big shot cry on camera saying
"why do we have to go through so much pain and suffering :'(
Fighting our own brother, when we have so much history together BOOHOOHOO"
Point of doing this?
Plead for reconciliation with their long lost brother N.Korea.

I tell you they will immediately go weak in their knees.
and say "i'm so sorry my brother S.Korea"

But if KJI never back down then I think the situation may get even worse
LOL.
Then KJI is really a dweeb, deep down inside.


@ 1:45 PM



You taught me everything
Everything you've given me
I'll always keep it inside
You're the driving force in my life, yeah

There isn't anything
Or anyone that I could be
And it just wouldn't feel right
If I didn't have you by my side

You were there for me to love and care for me
When skies were gray
Whenever I was down
You were always there to comfort me

And no one else can be
What you have been to me you will always be
You will always be the girl
In my life for all times

Mama, Mama you know I love you
Mama, Mama you're the queen of my heart
Your love is like tears from the stars
Mama I just want you to know lovin' you is like food to my soul
Yes it is, yes it is, oh, yes it is, yes it is, yes it is oh

You're always there for me
Have always been around for me even when I was bad
You showed me right from my wrong
Yes you did

And you took up for me
When everyone was downin' me
You always did understand
You gave me strength to go on

There was so many times
Looking back when I was so afraid
And then you come to me and say to me
I can face anything

And no one else can do
What you have done for me
You'll always be, you will always be
The girl in my life, ooh oh

Never gonna go a day without you
Fills me up just thinkin' about you
I'll never go a day
Without my mama

Today I was gay until i saw this music video.
The lyrics were so touching that I cried.
I always have this fear that my mum wouldn't
be by me for long.
The fear just lingers around no matter how much I try to brush it off.
I think I wouldn't have any backbone
to face the world anymore if she wasn't there.
I'd just flop like a jelly.
I always pray to God that he'll let my mum be by me
and not take her away at least until she sees me get married.
There are so many things that I want to do with her and share
with her, and I wanna make her proud.
So that she'll know at the end of the day all the sacrifices
that she made for me was worth it.
I wanna bring her on a holiday far far away with my own money.
I don't think she knows how much strength her presence gives me.
:')
Love you mummy.


Post mst plans
Monday, December 06, 2010 @ 12:41 PM

After the exam, I shall go swimming,
Sleep like a pig, watch lord of the rings again,
Play com, watch dramas, pack my luggage, and sleep even more. Wanted to include eat like a pig but I remembered I am supposed to maintain a healthy diet during the hols so I won't fall sick overseas. Sigh.

I need some alone time to relax desperately ahh


Work and more work
@ 12:22 PM

I love my phone.
It has internet,
It has facebook,
It has blogger,
It has games.
I don't think I want to buy another phone.

On the way home from school.
Microbio was... why did I study so hard trying to memorise all those terms when only basic stuff came out?! Even woke at 6 today to do a recap :o
But still there were some qns that I don't know how to do. Spent more time on the cheem stuffs.
Hmmm. hoping for the best...

Maths. Maths. Maths.
Although I am very, very, extremely bad at it.
I'm gonna give my best.
Finished 4 chapters, left with 3 plus practice questions.
My brain always seem to jump into slow mode when it comes to maths. I need to overcome this psychological barrier. I do not want to worry about maths when I go overseas. No sir.


I miss you cocoa
Sunday, December 05, 2010 @ 4:43 PM

The day before yesterday was quite an exhausting day for me.
I thought my cat was gone forever...
Searched high and low for her around my estate.
In the end she was locked in my storeroom when
my mum went to get something x.x
I was so relieved I wanted to cry.
What would I do without my cat?
Love her so much.

My eyes were like red when I was looking for her.
I don't think I can stand losing another pet.
I lost my labrador retriever thanks to some
annoying neighbour who complained that my dog was noisy.
And people from some crap place took my dog away
while I was asleep.
I didn't even get to say bye to her.
Cried like a waterfall that day.
Me and my mum still tear whenever we talk about cocoa today.
hahaha. She was with us since she was a puppy and
was sort of like my pillar of strength
and also my playmate since I have nobody to talk to other than my
parents. My brothers were already on their own.
Makes me so upset when I think about it.
Don't know where she is now.
I hope she is with a great family with kids who like dogs.
Even though most of my teddy bears and socks were chewed off
I still loved her. and her sweet chocolate brown eyes.

I swear the next opportunity I have I will buy a labrador.
and ask her to bark like mad outside the neighbour's house.
Ok that would be a dumb thing to do.

Sorry if you are not a pet lover.
HAHAHA because I think you'll think I'm crazy.
Feeling so emotional towards animals that can't talk.
I think God gave us pets to fill a void in our hearts.
There's this quality of God in them that I find so amazing.
Unconditional love that they have for their owners.
No matter how many times I shout at my cat for peeing on my bags and stuffs
she still crawl back onto my tummy at night and mew,
and the whole matter will be forgotten.
Although I think I am a bit unemotional towards people,
once I see an animal I just melt into a puddle of goo.

fyi by animals I do not count in snakes, crocodiles, things that
might bite me haha. I do like to read and admire them from afar tho.
I find all animals fascinating.
EXCEPT INSECTS
I seriously can't stand them for nuts.

ANYWAY back to studying.


@ 2:05 AM

Wow i just realised something amazing.
Its so alike I can hardly tell mine apart from yours lol.

Anyway,
i'm like doing maths right now.
I feel completely awake ^^

Church tmr too ^^


Saturday, December 04, 2010 @ 2:25 PM

I've been having dreams every time i take a nap or sleep for the past week.
lke really confusing dreams about murder, pop stars, faces, songs..

Dreamt that:
-eminem was dressing up as michael jackson LOL
-My mother is trying to kill me
-Some glee performance and songs in the background
-Somebody's face floating around (i think i shouldn't say who)
-The rest I cannot remember but I remember being very confused after.

SO
i've been waking up feeling tired instead of refreshed.
Just great.


@ 1:15 AM

Fried my brains today :)

Watching Mary Stayed out all night omg it is so awesome.
:) Jung In! I love him.
He is awkward in so many ways.
I sometimes feel like that..
Like i'm really awkward.
Dunno why.

I wonder what its like to love somebody who isn't a friend or family..
I don't even know how to express my love for them,
much less someone I might so called love in the future.
I love my mother so so so much I can just cry at the
thought of her not being part of my life,
but I still make her angry and sad from time to time.
Even though I love her with all my heart.
I love my friends but I can't express it to them.
I guess you can say i'm somewhat emotionally inhibited.
Feel an ocean of emotion but can only express one drop of water.
Kind of pathetic aye.

My dad always told me he loved me, like almost everyday.
But the things he did always felt so contradicting with his words.
Maybe that was when I kind of got immune to "I love you"
I can even count with my fingers the amount of times I said I love you
and looked into a person's eyes for more than 3 seconds with one hand.
Maybe even one finger because I don't even remember doing that before.
That three words is just too precious to say it out like that.
I think I might cry if I ever say them.
3 words but so chock full of emotion.



Don't know why I'm thinking so much today.
Must be very tired.
And a bit confused because I don't know what I am feeling.
But I'm feeling a lot.
Heard this on the radio today :)
Makes me feel like dancing around the room..

The guy in the video is so cute HAHAH!
Doing all those funny dance moves.
But I don't blame him
He's in looove!
Wouldn't wanna eat the pancakes tho.
He picked up the broken eggs from the floor and placed it into the batter!


Gah.
Friday, December 03, 2010 @ 12:59 AM

Been tossing in bed for 3 hours now..
I can't sleep for nuts argh.
This is so not me.
I usually knock out in less than 5 minutes..
Guess my body's tired but brain's still active..
Annoying.
Ok I'm gonna try counting sheeps.
Last resort lol.


Thursday, December 02, 2010 @ 8:20 PM

Having a little munchie time now..
:)
Today's cellbio was rather good..
except for a few terms that slipped my mind.

And i got a booster for my maths!
SO thankful.
Gonna continue chionging in a little bit.
~~~~~

I feel like a child who saw a toy so beautiful
but was being denied of it by her parents..

I always pride myself on being able to read people's emotions
just by observing their face and tone of their voice,
but its not always a very good thing :(
It makes me paranoid or upset
without the other party knowing..
An easier way to put it is = being too sensitive to anything and everything.
Watching Lie To Me is further improving my so called skill.
Which at the moment I think is really really annoying.
It makes me think and think of 100 different possibilities of a person acting
in a certain way.
When maybe in reality when A said B, A really meant B.
Not Bc, not, Bd, not Be and so on.... but just B.
Dang it Rebekah..


Wednesday, December 01, 2010 @ 10:46 PM

Tmr's cellbio mst.
I finished revising earlier on..
Argh i feel so brain dead.
I had to sit at my front door steps just to force myself to study.
eventually i got the hang of it and finished YAY!

Hope it goes well ~
Listening to jay chou songs now :)
He's a big part of my childhood!
hahahaha.
I only listen to chinese songs sung by him..
the rest are kind of meh.

anyway i feel like time passes so quickly.
which is good because i want next wednesday to come quickly.


Butterflies.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010 @ 11:39 PM

Why are butterflies called butterflies???
What do they have to do with butter..

Anyway.
they were in my stomach today.
Annoying much?
There's like this sense of loss when the person isn't there.
Is there such a thing as "the other half"??
Like you see a person, and you go "she/he is all i want"
Interesting theory.
But it's still a theory.

Gonna read a little and then go straight to lalaland..
PT today was so tiring.
I think I'll go right to sleep 10 seconds after I close my eyes.


Monday, November 29, 2010 @ 9:29 PM

I apologise for the previous post.
Was just feeling so worked up.
I was like "ok rebekah you read your bible right now"
and i saw proverbs 29:8
"Mockers stir up a city,
but the wise turn away anger. "
I need to be wise,
and to be wise,
I need to turn away anger.

I think I have been feeling very tensed up
as the msts are closing in..

I took out the song book and sang one of my favourite
songs since young "Purer in heart"
and the lyrics never fail to speak to me :)

Purer in heart o god, help me to be
May i devote my life wholly to thee
watch thou my wayward feet
guide me with counsel sweet
purer in heart, help me to be
teach me to do thy will most lovingly
be thou my friend and guide
let me with thee abide
that i thy holy face one day may see
keep me from secret sin
reign thou my soul within
purer in heart, help me to be.
:)


Please give me strength and guide me through this
hectic period!!!


creep..
@ 8:58 PM

I am so freaking pissed off..
Some person has been texting me about crap..
like
"HI"
"I ve sad"
and some other stuff i shouldn't say here.
Like wth?
If you need help,
please so straight to the point
and not act like some weird person...
Makes me feel like super uncomfortable..
Even tried to call me..
Haven't even seen that person for like what, 4-5 years?
and what
"I know you gd gal :)"
wth?!

I need to study but this is seriously getting on my nerves..
Why can't i have some peace!

Sorry.
today has just been such a drag.
everyone's like wasting time.
and here someone goes "i ve sad"
just to attract attention.
I AM ALSO VERY SAD (AND VERY BUSY HA-HA)
I wanna help but in the end all the
person wants is someone to chat on sms with.

I feel cheated.

Ok i feel better now. :)


All we ever do is say goodbye
Friday, November 26, 2010 @ 6:59 PM

I got my 3 jabs..
Didn't have to get tetanus and hep b because
i got them when i was born and during P6 (COOL)
Got them on my arms and thigh.
yah. THIGH.
for the very first time..
My left arm was the first jab and it was pretty ok
except when she took the needle out..
Right arm was worse.. Some blood came out so i think
she poked a capilary...
By then my eyes were quite watery,
seeing the blood made it worse lol.
and then came the thigh jab...
It was quite funny.
I was lying down on the side covering my face and my body was
shaking because i was kind of choking/sobbing.
The nurse laughed and i laughed while crying,
so embarassing. Think i was too scared.
I wished my mother was there :(
And then she poked the needle in and it was done..

Not feeling too well when i came back home.
LOL. I think its more of shock than the jab really.
Took pictures of my cat and kept dozing off in between.
Felt so tired and sleepy..
Now body is aching all over.

so much for trying to be brave and go alone.
failed lol
tempted to take off the bandage but nah..


Yay
@ 12:59 PM

Finally done with ideas whooooo. Both classes earned like 800 plus.. which is a lot! Now going for my dreaded jabs.. total of 5 jabs if I dont have hepatitis a and b antibodies after they do a blood test on me... deathly afraid of needles. Good luck to me.


TODAY SUCKED
@ 12:04 AM

I need to really focus for the next 2 weeks
and chiong my guts out..
Wanna do well for msts so that i can have a peace
of mind when i leave the country for almost 3 weeks..

I PASSED LIFESAVING 2 & 3 & CPR
HAHA
HEHE
HOHO
FINALLYYYYY.
Its all over.
YAY YAY.

I really need a new camera man..
Take nice photos in M'sia and India.

3 more weeks to India!!!!!
2 more weeks to retreat!!!
Whoopeedoooooooooo~~~


Testing
Wednesday, November 24, 2010 @ 7:58 PM

Hehehehehehe


@ 12:48 AM

"You're so strange that I find you puzzling and amazing."
what a nice thing to say to somebody.
contradicting, but nice.
:)
Been watching too much korean dramas XP

Just can't seem to get it off my mind.
Getting quite annoying..
Guess this ruddy brain of mine always thinks too much.
I should go sleep it off.